In Shia Islam there is a concept of temporary marriage where a couple can be married from anywhere between an hour to 99 years. It is believed that the practices existed in the time of Muhammad and it was mainly adopted by pilgrims who travelled to the holy cities of Qom and Meshed, and since, they were far away from their homes and wives temporary marriages seemed like a reasonable way to satisfy their sexual needs. In Iran, it’s quite easy to enter into a temporary marriage, a cleric can pronounce a couple husband and wife, or even easier, they can get married privately if they so want. While the men may have up to four permanent wives and endless temporary wives, women can have only one husband and even if she is in a temporary marriage she cannot initiate divorce easily.
There are many reactions to temporary marriage in Iranian society, while some consider it as legalised prostitution, where men provide support to the women in exchange for sex. There are others who believe that ‘sigeh’ or temporary marriage provides a loophole in the Islamic system to provide inheritance rights for children who would be otherwise born out of wedlock and support to divorced or widowed women.
The Iranian society seems quite divided on the issue, while some feminists like Shahla Sherkat, the editor of Zanan, a feminist monthly, which was recently shut down believe that, “First, relations between young men and women will become a little bit freer. Second, they can satisfy their sexual needs. Third, sex will become depoliticised. Fourth, they will use some of the energy they are putting into street demonstrations and finally, our society’s obsession with virginity will disappear.” There are others who ardently oppose it, especially in context of the ‘Family Protection Law’ that Ahmadinejad tried to push in 2008 which made it easier for men to enter into temporary marriages. They also believe that temporary marriage is biased towards the ‘needs’ of rich married men and mostly women who are desperate enter into these marriages. As one womens rights NGO puts it, “Men do it for fun. Women do it for money; they don’t enjoy it at all.”
While some supporters claim that there is benefits to sigeh where, children born out of wedlock can gain legitimacy, it’s not really true, because many in Iranian society prefer that people have affairs rather than go for Sigeh, as its considered a taboo, and therefore, any children born out of this practice are often ostracised much live the wives. A society which lays a lot of emphasis on virginity, it’s difficult to see how a practice that more or less blares out that the woman is not virgin will benefit from it. After the end of temporary marriage, it’s difficult to see who will marry a woman if she’s not a virgin and that makes her inherently dependent on men, generally older rich men, who want something on the side apart from their wives.
While many of the personal stories that I came across are of women, who although resent the stigma and would prefer a permanent marriage are quite happy with it. These were generally women who would not be allowed to travel or be out in public with their boyfriends, so to deal with that they entered into temporary marriage, or widows who had a family to support, would find some companionship and support from another man.
The problem here as I generally see it is that the practice is quite lopsided in the favour of men. For instance, I read a story about a 55-year-old doctor who had one permanent wife and three temporary marriages; one of those was to a 21-year-old law student from a poor family, so in exchange for sex he supported her and her family. It sounds like prostitution and the helplessness of the woman becomes apparent, but under the name of ‘sigeh’ it dons a religious cloak that gives it legitimacy.
The belief that it happened during the Prophets time and he allowed and approved it, gives a stamp of approval on the practice making it possible to have what the westerners call a ‘live-in relationship’ but here its legally approved and allowed.
Sigeh is curiously most commonly practiced among the clergy, many of whom strongly condemn premarital sex or extramarital sex and somehow under temporary marriage it seems a man can basically have sex with a person who’s not his wife, but it’s even then not considered extramarital sex, weird. And many of the urban youth seem to reject the practice just because the clerics support it, for them it reflects the very nature of the Islamic Republic which they cull.
But in the end the question is not really on permanent or temporary marriage, the question is why is there a need for the label of a temporary marriage, I understand for the clerics, its a cloak behind which they appear saint like but still get to behave and act as for lack of a better word like ‘men’, but it also suggests the extent of patriarchy in the society, as a man can sleep around and have as many wives as he wants and at the same time feel good about it because, ‘Hey, I’m only helping out a person in need’, and it’s not considered a big deal because, well, ‘men have needs’.
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